Arts Thread

This project was more like self-healing and finding the self-consistent process for me. For the past three years, through the death of a loved one and the pandemic, I struggled to adjust myself to fight the urge to give up everything. Until the three-month lockdown in 2020, my questioning of society and my disgust with humanity reached its peak, and this is when I drew these sketches. To quickly explain these sketches, they talk about how people are numb and take pleasure in the pain of others. I wonder why people do what they do and feel what they feel. They became the starting point of my project, in which I tried to frame the concept as an 'exploration of human behaviors and the psychological reasons behind them.' And I tried to stay positive. Still, by the end of unit 9, I could not be self-consistent, which made the whole project feel very fragmented. I became aware of my sense of fragmentation and avoidance of all those negative emotions piled up over the past few years. Therefore, for unit 10, I drew the exploration inwards, confronting my feelings, behaviors, and the psychological reasons behind them. That is why I focused more on expressing my feelings and using clay as a material to visualize them. I used mainly coiling for my work, because I found it meditating. Coiling is a slow process, it gives me time to think, refine, and make changes throughout the making process. It also takes me through all the emotions we go through in our lives. The frustration of the collapse of clay; the depression of continued failure; the surprise from a new glaze that turned out perfect; and the happiness and gratification of completing a work. It means a lot in my project. The metaphors are also a big part in my project. For example, the bubbly structure indicates the chaotic negative thoughts echoing in my mind when I’m struggling, the volcanic glaze add to the anxious mood, etc. What I want my work to do is, through self-expression, I am hoping I can start the conversation on mental health, negative emotional loops for the audience, etc., at least convey a message to the audience that “you are not the only one feel like this”. Especially to the younger generations, because I went through a depressed period and felt no one could understand me, no one to talk to. That seems to be the worst part of all. I went through such denial that I can be depressed So, I wish my work could start a dialogue and raise more awareness of our negative emotions.

The project “… …” shows a series of abstract figurative sculptures that visualize the feelings of being trapped in negative emotional loops. In self-healing, the artist hopes to open more dialogues and arouse public awareness of mental illness. Wishing to convey the message of “you are not alone” to the audience.